


Contemporaneous

by VeggiesforPresident (luridCavum)



Category: Code Lyoko
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Odd Della Robbia, Conflict Resolution, Epistolary, Fluff, Friendship, Future Fic, Gen, Group chat, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Post-Canon, Texting, Trans Jeremie Belpois, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2019-11-16 06:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 13,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18089087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luridCavum/pseuds/VeggiesforPresident
Summary: xx___g0thxbitch___xx: sometimes ya bitch doesn’t wanna deal w strangers asking about her personal tattoos!bastodd: yeah ulrich, it really needles herbastodd: get it?? needles?????? hahahahahahahathegrassisgreener has blocked bastodd from the chatAKA the 10-years post-canon groupchat fic you didn't know you needed until now





	1. Wednesday, 22:47 Central European Time

**Author's Note:**

> Yes yes it's a Code Lyoko group chat fic! I'm sticking with the main cast as opposed to adding in like, William or Sissi bc I thought it would get too complicated. This takes place 8-10 years post-canon.
> 
> In case it's confusing, their usernames are as follows:
> 
> princess: Aelita  
> bastodd: Odd  
> thegrassisgreener: Ulrich  
> xx___g0thxbitch___xx: Yumi  
> jeremie: ... Jeremie

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: if one more person asks if the tower is some kind of tree again im gonna scream?

xx___g0thxbXtch___xx: its just a digital tree! fuck off!

princess: what do you tell them?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I usually say it’s a tattoo I designed on my own

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: which isn’t teeeechnically true since it’s a lyoko tower

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: but whatever

thegrassisgreener: its not like its common design tho yumi…..

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yeah but sometimes ya bitch doesn’t wanna deal w strangers asking about her personal tattoos!

bastodd: yeah ulrich, it really needles her

bastodd: get it?? needles?????? hahahahahahaha

thegrassisgreener has blocked bastodd from the chat

princess has unblocked bastodd from the chat

bastodd: why did you block me I’m sitting five feet from you??

thegrassisgreener: I’ve heard enough of your puns over the last few days

bastodd: you laughed! I just heard you!

thegrassisgreener: i didn’t wanna hurt your feelings

bastodd: liar!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: guys

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: come on

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I’m trying to complain here

thegrassisgreener: sorry yumi

bastodd: sorry!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: thank you.

princess: I know how you feel, yumi. I get a ton of questions about my hair on the daily, no one seems to believe it’s my natural color!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: thank you aelita!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: it’s frustrating!

bastodd: yeah the kids at work are a

bastodd: alKDJ dc iii

princess: hello?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: odd??

thegrassisgreener has blocked bastodd from the chat

thegrassisgreener: odd’s temporarily out of commission. he tried to take his shoes off when WE’RE SHARING A TRAIN COMPARTMENT

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: sigh.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx has unblocked bastodd from the chat

bastodd: thanks yumi

bastodd: glad to know someone here appreciates me

xx___g0thxbitch___xx : so, aelita, how long dyou think it’d take ulrich to pass out now that odd’s got his socks off?

bastodd: wow, I take it back

princess: hm… I’d say 30 mins, an hour at most.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I was gonna say 15! their time apart has un-conditioned him

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: he’s weak now

princess: good point!

bastodd has blocked xx___g0thxbitch___xx and princess from the chat

thegrassisgreener: thanks odd, I was gonna block them if you didn’t

jeremie has unblocked princess and xx___g0thxbitch___xx from the chat

jeremie: Ulrich! Yumi! Odd!

jeremie: This is getting old.

thegrassisgreener: they were underestimating me!

bastodd: and insulting ME!

jeremie: I have work to do!

jeremie: You guys can’t keep distracting me with your nonsense!

thegrassisgreener: odd started it!

bastodd: hey! technically yumi started it!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey!

jeremie: Guys! I have work to do!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: sigh

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: can’t you just mute us?

jeremie: … Oh yeah

jeremie: I guess I can

bastodd: ahahaha

bastodd: classic Einstein

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: isn’t it like 0200 over there?

jeremie: Yes, and this project is due at 8.

thegrassisgreener: you haven’t finished it? what have you been doing?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you know jeremie, he’s probably designing a way to let kiwi breathe underwater

jeremie: Close, actually!

jeremie: But I’ll tell you about it later.

jeremie: Because as Yumi so kindly reminded me, I can mute you until I finish this.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you’re welcome

thegrassisgreener: yeah, we’ll give you the highlights tomorrow.

bastodd: we won’t start any memes without you this time! hahahah

jeremie: This time!

jeremie: Sigh.

jeremie: Okay, talk to you later.

princess: good night!

thegrassisgreener: later, jeremie.

thegrassisgreener: is

thegrassisgreener: is he gone?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I think so

thegrassisgreener: oh Einstein, never change

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: with what he can do, I’m surprised he’s even still taking classes.

bastodd: they should just give him the degree, like on principle

thegrassisgreener: oh yeah, totally

princess: seconded.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you know, I think hed like teaching tbh

princess: like you are?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey, TAing undergrads is way different than teaching like, 8th grade science.

thegrassisgreener: Everyone’s sleep deprived, there’s relationship drama, they’re writing papers they didn’t proofread. Sounds pretty much the same to me.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I’m gonna block you

thegrassisgreener: try it!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: …

thegrassisgreener: ha!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: fuck you.

thegrassisgreener: please do.

bastodd: hey! hey! there are children here!

princess: odd, we’re all adults!

bastodd: technically

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: don’t worry odd, we won’t fuck in the group chat

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ;)

bastodd: noooo

bastodd has blocked xx___g0thxbitch___xx and thegrassisgreener from the chat.

princess: no! now they’re gonna fuck in their private chat!

princess: aren’t you on the train with ulrich right now???

bastodd: oh god ur right

bastodd has unblocked thegrassisgreener and xx___g0thxbitch___xx from the chat.

thegrassisgreener: hey!

bastodd: don't tell jeremie i blocked you

thegrassisgreener: whatever you say odd

thegrassisgreener: I’m not gonna sext on the way back from a funeral anyway

thegrassisgreener: I have some standards!

bastodd: uh

bastodd: so you have some bones to pick about that idea?

bastodd: it doesn’t give you wood?

bastodd: no… little death for you?

bastodd: ...ugh

bastodd: I’m losing my touch

thegrassisgreener: dude

thegrassisgreener: it’s like

thegrassisgreener: it’s okay

bastodd: anyway

bastodd: how the fuck are yall? what time is it where you are?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: around 2200

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: we’re all still on French standard time

princess: except jeremie

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: right

bastodd: yeah but he’s on crazy Einstein robot time, as usual

bastodd: sorry, right

bastodd: making the Italy/France journey twice in three days has scrambled my brain

princess: of course

bastodd: …you can ask

bastodd: I know you want to

princess: how are you holding up, odd?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: how are you dude?

bastodd: I need a new clock stand

princess: what?

bastodd: im really tired from holding up all the time!

bastodd: hahahah

princess: wow

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: jesus christ odd

bastodd: you love me!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I guess

princess: but seriously, odd, you’re okay?

princess: I’m sorry I couldn’t come out.

bastodd: i’m

bastodd: its fine you guys

bastodd: ulrich’s here, there’s not much else any of you can do

bastodd: he wasn’t your dad, you can’t just drop everything and fly to Italy for the weekend

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yeah, but we’re your friends. you know we’d be there if we could

bastodd: I know

bastodd: shit

bastodd: sorry for killing the mood

thegrassisgreener: dude

thegrassisgreener: youre fine

thegrassisgreener: even if your bare feet are stinking up the whole compartment

bastodd: hey, you missed my stench

thegrassisgreener: I missed YOU, dummy. your rank stank just comes with the territory

bastodd: rank stank, nice. im stealing that one

princess: oh, not another rap, odd. we could barely handle the last one.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: let him have this

bastodd: thank you yumi. consider yourself immune to blockage for the next 24 hours

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: its an honor, ye mighty bastard

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oops, I mean bastodd 

bastodd: youre already testing that immunity aren’t you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: :) :) :) no :) :) :)

bastodd: I could break out the break-break-breakdance on all of you

thegrassisgreener: god no. im already suffering from your footstank, isn’t that enough???

bastodd: never!!!

jeremie: oh tesla

jeremie: I leave for half an hour and this is what I come back to?

princess: welcome back jeremie!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: go to BED jeremie

thegrassisgreener: seriously man, get your Zs. we got this

jeremie: Fine, fine, alright. Odd, youre okay if I leave?

bastodd: yeah, Einstein, im alright

thegrassisgreener: actually yall, were gonna head out too. its been a long day

princess: of course. have a good night you two

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: <3 <3 <3 sending my love


	2. Thursday, 08:07 Central European Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some private messages between odd and aelita, and odd and ulrich
> 
> please note that PMs will be right-aligned! you may have to scroll over to read them

Private Message between princess and bastodd:

princess: hey odd. I hope youre doing okay. I know its not the same, but I remember what its like to lose a father

bastodd: thanks, aelita. it means a lot that ur reaching out.

bastodd: its

bastodd: tough

bastodd: cause I always thought he’d be there, you know?

bastodd: and one day he just… wasnt

bastodd: and _this_ was such a shock

bastodd: I mean he was healthy. we all thought wed have decades more with him.

princess: yeah. I know what you mean. you have all these expectations, all this hope

princess: all this time you think youre gonna get with him

princess: and then its yanked away from you, just like that

bastodd: yeah like. we got along good, you know, he was my dad, but now hes gone and its like.

bastodd: that’s it

bastodd: like theres nothing left

bastodd: like

bastodd: I got him a Christmas present

bastodd: and now like

bastodd: what do I do with it?

princess: its hard

princess: odd

princess: you don’t have to know right now

princess: when franz… died

princess: I sat in my room and cried for a week

princess: longer, actually

princess: I never let any of you in on it

princess: but I had all these questions I wanted to ask him

princess: all these memories and feelings I wanted to talk to him about

princess: and then I just. couldn’t.

princess: and I still can’t

princess: so I don’t know, odd

princess: I guess I’m saying take your time

princess: don’t worry about Christmas yet

princess: worry about now. youre here, youre alive

princess: ulrich’s with you.

princess: your sisters are nearby.

princess: the rest of us are a text away

princess: I love you, odd.

princess: and im sorry

bastodd: love you too, aelita

bastodd: thanks

bastodd: seriously

 

 

Private Message between thegrassisgreener and bastodd

thegrassisgreener: hey bitch

thegrassisgreener: hey

thegrassisgreener: youre still knocked out

thegrassisgreener: so like

thegrassisgreener: don’t freak out if the compartments empty when you wake up

thegrassisgreener: I just went to the dining car

thegrassisgreener: ill steal some croissants for you

thegrassisgreener: don’t know if they’ll have enough for a Della Robbia appetite but I have pockets so we’ll see

thegrassisgreener: cargo pants come in handy now don’t they?? haha

thegrassisgreener: anyway. im at breakfast

thegrassisgreener: catcha later

 

bastodd: bitch

bastodd: fuck your cargo pants

bastodd: I don’t care how many croissants they can hold

bastodd: theyre a fashion don’t and you know it

bastodd: but like

bastodd: thanks


	3. Thursday, 9:32 Central European Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More early-morning shenangins

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

bastodd: once again the dining options on the train are abysmal

bastodd: there should be a della robbia clause in there somewhere when we buy our tickets

bastodd: must provide enough food for eight hungry della robbias

bastodd: seven

bastodd: seven hungry della robbias

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you get right on that

thegrassisgreener: hes been drafting emails all morning

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: what happened, they run out of chocolate croissants?

bastodd: even worse! the waiter guy must’ve recognized me and my sisters, he told us two per passenger!

bastodd: but then I saw some little brat take FOUR

bastodd: and he didn’t say anything!

jeremie: Wow, Odd, that’s tragic.

bastodd: I can smell your sarcasm from here, mister!

bastodd: and I’ll tell you, it’s stanky!

thegrassisgreener: like you’d know

bastodd has blocked thegrassisgreener from the chat

jeremie has unblocked thegrassisgreener from the chat

jeremie: I don’t know what you’re talking about, Odd.

jeremie: :)

bastodd: I’m withering away over here!

bastodd: and you have no sympathy!

princess: what time do you get in? I’m sure you’ll be able to stop somewhere

thegrassisgreener: a little over an hour

thegrassisgreener: there’s a great café near the train station that odd’s never been to

bastodd: and I wont ever go if I don’t get something to eat soon!

bastodd: we’ll have a second funeral on our hands

thegrassisgreener: oh please, odd, you JUST had like, five waffles.

bastodd: I’m still hungry!

jeremie: Some things never change, I guess.

thegrassisgreener: understatement

thegrassisgreener: anyway

thegrassisgreener: howd your project turn out, jeremie?

jeremie: It was okay. I got a 98, as I expected

thegrassisgreener: man, leave some As for the rest of us

jeremie: Don’t you mean Cs?

thegrassisgreener: hey

thegrassisgreener: I haven’t had my coffee yet

thegrassisgreener: don’t make me block you

jeremie: Fine, fine.

princess: is there no coffee on the train?

thegrassisgreener: there is, but it’s train coffee

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ooh yikes. I don’t envy you

princess: What’s wrong with train coffee?

thegrassisgreener: it’s universally bad. instant and watered down

thegrassisgreener: when odd stops being dramatic we can get the café d’amitié

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ooo good choice

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: get their raspberry pastry

thegrassisgreener: copy! one raspberry pastry

bastodd: ugh… raspberry pastry…

bastodd: my poor stomach, going to die before i can taste such delicacies as a raspberry pastry…

thegrassisgreener: oh my god

princess: I think you’ll survive, odd.

princess: let the pastries be your guide

princess: don’t go into the light

bastodd: ill try

bastodd: so… hungry…

thegrassisgreener: lord it’s gonna be a long hour

bastodd has blocked thegrassisgreener from the chat 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx has unblocked thegrassisgreener from the chat

princess: I’m sorry you’re suffering so

jeremie: “Suffering”

princess: suffering by odd’s standards

jeremie: … Alright

princess: how can we help you guys?

bastodd: kill me

princess: besides that!

bastodd: oh. I dunno

thegrassisgreener: I’m not sure

thegrassisgreener: sorry, my brain’s kinda fried

princess: that’s fine!

princess: totally understandable

princess: oh!

princess: I have an idea, actually!

thegrassisgreener: oh here we go

princess: hypothetically, if you could harness the power of flight

princess: like for one person

princess: would you do it?

jeremie: Interesting!

bastodd has blocked jeremie from the chat

bastodd has unblocked jeremie from the chat

bastodd: no, no, no. Einstein, we don’t have time for that

princess: yeah, sorry jeremie, I forgot to mention: this hypothetical is for non-geniuses only

jeremie: Fine

thegrassisgreener: is this like, having wings like a bird? cause if so, ill pass

thegrassisgreener: but having my own hoverbike in the real world? id love that

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: id be down no matter what!

bastodd: don’t you mean you’d be up?

princess has blocked bastodd from the chat

xx___g0thxbitch___xx has unblocked bastodd from the chat

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: cut him some slack aelita

princess: im asking a question here!

princess: science has no time for shenanigans!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: says the woman asking us about flying

princess: touche

jeremie: Science always has time for shenangins

bastodd: yeah! you heard Einstein!

princess: … fine. but please take this seriously

thegrassisgreener: … why?

thegrassisgreener: are you planning something?

princess: no! I’m just trying to help pass the time!

thegrassisgreener: … sure

bastodd: I believe you, aelita!

bastodd: I think flying would be cool

thegrassisgreener: youd probably get stuck in a tree

thegrassisgreener: at least you’d be fulfilling your destiny

bastodd: my what?

thegrassisgreener: you know, of being a cat. and cats get stuck in trees

thegrassisgreener: hey!!

thegrassisgreener has blocked bastodd from the chat

thegrassisgreener has unblocked bastodd from the chat

thegrassisgreener: fuck you!

princess: what?

bastodd: one might say

bastodd: I threw ALL my dirty socks at him!

bastodd: >:)

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you didn’t

bastodd: ah but i did, my friend. but i did.

thegrassisgreener: ill kill you

princess: oh my god

xx___g0thxbitch___xx : please no, I’ll actually have to take off a few days if Odd dies

bastodd: aha! so you admit it! you didn’t want to come this week!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I never said that.

bastodd: you implied it!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: did not!

bastodd: uh huh!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: nuh uh!

bastodd: ya huh!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: nuh uh!

jeremie: Oh my Tesla

bastodd: yumi, when does your block ban end?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I’m not telling

bastodd: bastard

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: no that’s you

bastodd: wow

bastodd: be glad I can’t block you yumi

xx__g0thxbitch__xx: oh I am 

xx__g0thxbitch__xx: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ill be honest yall, this fic its gonna meander a lot. but i hope youre enjoying it nonetheless!


	4. Thursday, 10:30 Central European Time

Private Message between jeremie and princess:

princess: I think they’re catching onto our plan!

jeremie: I doubt it

jeremie: Do you not see how quickly they got off track?

princess: Oh, that’s true

princess: Ulrich may be suspicious

jeremie: Probably

jeremie: but I'd wager he’ll forget about it by tomorrow

jeremie: He doesn’t do well with travel

princess: that’s true

jeremie: Anyway, good news!

jeremie: I should have a prototype out to you by the end of the week

princess: <3 <3 <3

princess: it’ll be a nice pick-me-up for odd

princess: haha, pick-me-up

jeremie: You’ve been spending too much time with him

princess: no such thing!

jeremie: yeah, you’re right

jeremie: I hope we can get it done before Christmas

princess: we can!

jeremie: Oh aelita. Always the optimist 

princess: someone here has to be!

jeremie: <3

 

 

Private Message between thegrassisgreener and bastodd

bastodd: where are you

thegrassisgreener: luggage handoff

thegrassisgreener: down by the big gold sign

bastodd: ah

bastodd: found you

 

thegrassisgreener: this bathroom has dried flower petals on the sink

thegrassisgreener: don’t go in, it’s too fancy for you

thegrassisgreener: you’d wreck it and we’d both get banned for life

bastodd: “too fancy” says the guy in cargo shorts

thegrassisgreener: theyre comfortable and convenient!

bastodd: whatever stops the tears good buddy

thegrassisgreener: my point still stands

thegrassisgreener: I’d take on a dozen megatanks for you, you know that

thegrassisgreener: but I’m not risking losing access to these pastries

bastodd: wow, ulrich, you’re a true friend. a brother in arms.

thegrassisgreener: shut the fuck up

 

Group message between thegrassisgreener, bastodd, and xx___g0thxbitch___xx

thegrassisgreener: you were right yumi

thegrassisgreener: the raspberry pastry was a delicious

bastodd: ulrich threatened to disown me if I came between him and his pastry

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: wow, sounds like it was a real hit!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you’re pulling odd moves now, ulrich

thegrassisgreener: shit

thegrassisgreener: he’s rubbing off on me

thegrassisgreener: geez

thegrassisgreener: the sooner I can get home, the better

bastodd: you wound me

thegrassisgreener: good

thegrassisgreener: maybe an injury will stop you from eating so fast

thegrassisgreener: it’s disgusting

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: shudder

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: glad I’m not there

bastodd: we wish you were

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: aww

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: we can video chat on Saturday!

bastodd: sweet

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: what else did you guys get?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I haven’t been to café d’amitié in so long

thegrassisgreener: a couple espresso shots, the raspberry pastry, and an egg on a croissant

thegrassisgreener: Way better than train food

bastodd: I got six pastries, two egg sandwiches, a large coffee, and a chocolate chip muffin!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I’m feeling sick just reading that

bastodd: I’m in mourning don’t judge me

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: but that’s as much as you usually eat

bastodd: fuck off

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: no

bastodd: ugh

bastodd: what do YOU usually get

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: my usual is a small black coffee and either the pastry or a scone

thegrassisgreener: classic yumi

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: always!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ugh, can you mail me a scone?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: now i’m craving one

thegrassisgreener: sure thing

 

A handwritten note, inside a care package addressed to

Odd DELLA ROBBIA

Saint-Etienne

France

 

ay odd ma boiiii

it mad sucks ur going thru it rn man

anyway catch u at practice xxx (no homo tho)

later bro

 

(but for real, I’m here for you and love you like mad. xxx yumi)


	5. Saturday, 16:32 Central European Time

Private Message between princess and xx___g0thxbitch___xx

princess: you sent the care package to odd, right?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yep! put it in the mail yesterday, so he should get it when he gets home

princess: oh! that’ll be nice!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yeah

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: it’s been a while since I sent him anything

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I think he’ll appreciate it

princess: I agree!

princess: so, how are you?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: uuuugghhhh

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: this phD prog is killing me

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: me and odd are gonna have a joint funeral

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I’m not gonna make it to winter break

princess: you’d better make that a triple funeral

princess: cause my phD program is killing me too

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: solidarity

princess: when’s your winter break start?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: 18 dec

princess: oh yumi :(

princess: I’m off the 15th

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ah good

princess: let’s get schwasted on 19 dec

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hell YES

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: if I survive I’m gonna need a drink

princess: me too

princess: which reminds me

princess: that band you showed me, actually

princess: the weird electronic one?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh yeah, Grand Theft Molotov

princess: they were too out there for me, but I actually mixed Hungover Anthem with some baroque music I heard at the library the other day

princess: here

princess has attached hungover_mix.mp3

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh shit? I’ll give it a listen after dinner

princess: let me know what you think

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I always do!

princess: what’re you making?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: that salad w orange slices

princess: ooooo yes

princess: w the walnuts?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you know it!

princess: uuggghh yumi. youre killing me

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: what are friends for?

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

thegrassisgreener: ahhh

thegrassisgreener: home sweet home

bastodd: youre just saying that cause I’m not there to get my footstank all over your stuff

thegrassisgreener: exactly, glad you understand

bastodd: wow

bastodd: well for your information

bastodd: I was gonna let this be a secret

bastodd: but

bastodd: here I am

bastodd: telling you everything

jeremie: Get to the point

bastodd: fine! pushy

bastodd: ulrich dear I left you a gift in your toiletry bag!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: … I don’t like the words “gift” and “toilet” next to each other

thegrassisgreener: me neither

thegrassisgreener: what did you do

bastodd: that’s for me to know and you to find out!!!

bastodd: hahahaha!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: really?

bastodd: what can I say! I wanted to give him something to remember me by!

thegrassisgreener: I’ll need something to remember you by when I fucking murder you

princess: maybe don’t

thegrassisgreener: I’d be justified

princess: I know but it’d be a hassle

princess: it’s a loooong drive to maison d’arrêt

thegrassisgreener: sigh

thegrassisgreener: I guess odd lives to see another day

bastodd: that’s what im taking about!

thegrassisgreener has blocked bastodd from the chat

thegrassisgreener: I can’t believe I missed him

princess: … are you gonna unblock him?

thegrassisgreener: not yet

jeremie: That’s fair.

thegrassisgreener: Einstein, agreeing with me?

thegrassisgreener: what is the world coming to?

jeremie: The way I see it, he crossed a line.

jeremie: It’s one thing to throw a sock and subsequently collect it

jeremie: It’s another to leave what I assume are socks, for you to take care of later

thegrassisgreener: … so what are you saying?

jeremie: If my hypothesis is correct, it means you’ll have to do Odd’s laundry.

thegrassisgreener has unblocked bastodd from the chat

thegrassisgreener: youre a bitch

thegrassisgreener has blocked bastodd from the chat

Private message between thegrassisgreener and bastodd

bastodd: unblock me!!!!!

thegrassisgreener: no!!

thegrassisgreener: anyway. glad to be home.

princess: glad you got home safe!

thegrassisgreener: same. I’m gonna catch some Zs, but beep me if anything exciting happens

princess: will do!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx has unblocked bastodd from the chat

thegrassisgreener: traitor

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: :D


	6. Tuesday, 07:14 Central European Time

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

bastodd: hellooooo party people

bastodd: fellow friends

bastodd: former lyoko warriors

bastodd: siblings in arms

jeremie: Oh my curie

bastodd: ahem!

bastodd: this is important, don’t interrupt

bastodd: thank you

bastodd: so it turns out my parents had some plans to go to the coast over the winter holiday

bastodd: but since that, ah, didn’t happen

bastodd: the beach house will be empty a couple weeks leading up to Christmas

bastodd: and mom said we could have it

bastodd: my sisters took the 11th thru the 18th

bastodd: so I do humbly invite all of you to stay with me from 19 dec – 24 dec

bastodd: there’s enough rooms for everyone to get their own, a fully stocked fridge, and it’s a short walk to a private beach

thegrassisgreener: hell yeah I’m in!

jeremie: I might still be recovering then, but mark me as tentatively in.

bastodd: oh right, your top surgery!

bastodd: well I’m glad you can get that off your chest, my good man

jeremie: sigh

bastodd: anyway… ladies?

princess: one sec!

Private Message between princess and xx___g0thxbitch___xx

princess: we have plans the 19th, what do you want to do??

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I don’t wanna miss an opportunity to beach

xx___g0thxbitch___xx : we can get schwasted that morning, then meet the guys at the house that night

princess: perfect!

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: me and aelita have plans the morning of the 19th, but we can meet you there that night, or the morning of 20 dec, depending on how hungover we are

bastodd: sounds… smashing!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: weak

bastodd has blocked xx___g0thxbitch___xx from the chat

bastodd: ahhh, feels good.

bastodd has unblocked xx___g0thxbitch___xx from the chat

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: bitch

bastodd: yeah

bastodd: anyway, sounds good!

bastodd: see yall then

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

princess: this undergrad

princess: is so fucking cute

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: what?

princess: she!! is a little whippet of a fresher!

princess: and shes SO jazzed about geology

thegrassisgreener: don’t you teach chemistry?

princess: I do, but her love shines through

princess: she’s really good at relating what we’re learning to her earth science class

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: that’s adorable

jeremie: Ah, undergraduates are so good when they care

jeremie: She’s still excited this close to winter holiday?

princess: yes!!

jeremie: That’s how you know it’s real

jeremie: It’s so invigorating

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: no jeremie! you can’t adopt all the freshers!

jeremie: :(

Private Message between princess and jeremie

princess: don’t worry! we can adopt all the freshers together!

princess: yumi can’t stop us!

jeremie: Perfect

bastodd: you and aelita really are made for each other aren’t you

princess: yeah, I like to think so

jeremie: Oh my hopper

thegrassisgreener: i see how it is

thegrassisgreener: i can’t fuck in the group chat, but you’ll let einstein and einsteinette go all doe-eyed at each other??

bastodd: those are totally different situations!

thegrassisgreener: how?

bastodd: I like aelita and jeremie

bastodd has blocked thegrassisgreener from the chat

bastodd: got em

xx___g0thxbitch___xx has blocked bastodd from the chat

xx___g0thxbitch___xx has unblocked thegrassisgreener from the chat

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: got em

thegrassisgreener: nice one

thegrassisgreener: thanks

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: of course

princess: we’re not gonna fuck in the group chat anyway

princess: we have standards

princess: whereas you and yumi are a non-zero risk

thegrassisgreener: harsh, but fair

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: …

thegrassisgreener: she’s right!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: **…**

jeremie: Did you… bold that ellipses?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yes

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: for emphasis

princess: oh my god

princess: I snorted

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: aww

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: i’m honored, princess

princess: that’s my name, don’t wear it out!

Private Message between princess and bastodd

bastodd: hello???

princess: shit

princess has unblocked bastodd from the chat

bastodd: seriously??

princess: sorry!

jeremie: You missed it, Odd; Aelita totally told Ulrich and Yumi off.

bastodd: through no fault of my own, what a shame

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: “no fault of your own”

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I won’t stand for these lies

jeremie: You were the one who blocked him

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: cause he blocked ulrich!

jeremie:  And then you forgot about him

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: …

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: okay

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: well

xx___g0thxbitch___xx : so did you

jeremie: We’re not talking about me right now

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: fine

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: sorry you missed the greatest roast of the year

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: sucks to suck

bastodd has blocked xx___g0thxbitch___xx from the chat

 

Private Message between bastodd and xx___g0thxbitch___xx

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey!!

bastodd: sucks to suck!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: i would glare at you SO hard rn if I could

bastodd: I know yumi

bastodd: I know

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: are you gonna unblock me?

bastodd: hm… no, I don’t think so

bastodd: not yet 

 

Private Message between princess and xx___g0thxbitch___xx

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: can YOU unblock me princess?

princess: no can do, sorry!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: wtf

 

Private Message between xx___g0thxbitch___xx and thegrassisgreener

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey

thegrassisgreener: no

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: bitch

thegrassisgreener: that’s me

 

princess has unblocked xx___g0thxbitch___xx from the chat

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: finally!

bastodd: and after that he said, that’s Russian!

thegrassisgreener: hahaha, alright, that’s a good one

jeremie: Reluctantly, I have to agree.

princess: the other professor in the lunch room gave me a weird look when I snorted at my phone

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ??

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: what’s this

thegrassisgreener: oh sorry, odd was just giving the punchline

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: and you guys laughed?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: what’s the world coming to?

bastodd: ill have you know lots of people laugh at my jokes!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you work with kids

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: your favorite joke is ‘what did the penguin say to the ice cube? nothing, silly, penguins can’t talk!’

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: it’s a low bar

bastodd: and I still reach it!

bastodd: when was the last time a whole room laughed at one of your jokes??

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: fuck off

bastodd: ha!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: seriously, what was so funny?

bastodd: oh, you had to be there

bastodd: the punchline spoils the whole thing

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I’m about to give you a punch line

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: or that is your punch line

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: as in I’m going to punch you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: or… whatever

bastodd: keep trying, you’ll get it eventually!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: … oh my god

bastodd: hahaha

 

bastodd: hello?

bastodd: yumi?

thegrassisgreener: shit

thegrassisgreener: I think you actually upset her

bastodd: shit

bastodd: shit


	7. Tuesday, 16:45 Central European Time

Private Message between bastodd and xx___g0thxbitch___xx

bastodd: yumi?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: what do you want?

bastodd: are you… okay?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I don’t want to talk to you right now

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: can we do this later

bastodd: oh, uh

bastodd: okay, sure

bastodd: let me know when

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yeah

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I will

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

bastodd: hey uh

bastodd: lets nix the groupchat for the day

princess: that’s fine

jeremie: Sure thing

thegrassisgreener: 10-4

 

Private Message between thegrassisgreener and bastodd

bastodd: shit

bastodd: I didn’t think she would actually get upset

bastodd: and she’s taking time to like… not talk to me

bastodd: ulrich

bastodd: what do I do

thegrassisgreener: you’ve known yumi as long as I have

thegrassisgreener: you know she gets touchy

thegrassisgreener: but as someone who’s had my fair share of fights with her

thegrassisgreener: it can be scary to wait. I get that.

thegrassisgreener: but

thegrassisgreener: don’t bombard her with messages

thegrassisgreener: there’s nothing she hates more than someone she’s mad at invading her privacy

bastodd: speaking from experience good buddy?

thegrassisgreener: haha, yeah

thegrassisgreener: it’s a mistake you make once

thegrassisgreener: once

thegrassisgreener: so, be patient

thegrassisgreener: when she’s ready to talk, she’ll talk

bastodd: great

bastodd: alright

bastodd: I gotta figure out what I’m teaching the 3-5 y/os tomorrow anyway

thegrassisgreener: I still don’t know how you put up with people all day

thegrassisgreener: all of you and your “loving children” nonsense

thegrassisgreener: I’m tired just thinking about it

bastodd: you have depression

bastodd: youre tired anyway

thegrassisgreener: shut uuup

thegrassisgreener: I’m just saying I don’t get it

bastodd: eh, kids are funny

bastodd: that’s why I like em

bastodd: they don’t ask stupid questions about my hair

bastodd: or my love life

bastodd: they just want to DANCE

bastodd: it’s an admirable way to live

thegrassisgreener: I guess I can respect that

thegrassisgreener: I dunno, I don’t ever remember being so high energy

bastodd: its not for everyone tbh

bastodd: youll never be brooke waters

bastodd: a kid in the 4y/o class

bastodd:  who will, she claims, be the next olympic gold medalist in high jump

bastodd: as soon as she finishes her fun dip

thegrassisgreener: haha, of course

thegrassisgreener: gotta have fun dip

thegrassisgreener: I guess youre right

thegrassisgreener: ive never been one for large groups of people

thegrassisgreener: that’s alright

bastodd: I’m screenshotting that

thegrassisgreener: oh no

bastodd: it’ll be forever immortalized that today, monday, was the day ulrich admitted I was right

thegrassisgreener: its tuesday

bastodd: damn it

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey guys

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: sorry about that

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: we can reconvene the group chat

princess: okay! 

princess: glad youre okay!

 

Private Message between bastodd and xx___g0thxbitch___xx

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: sorry

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: about all that

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I shouldntve taken my anger out on you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: being left out just kind of struck a nerve?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: just like…

xx___g0thxbitch___xx : I know I don’t talk about it much

xx___g0thxbitch___xx : but this semesters been hard

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: im swamped w work and grading

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I don’t get along w my mentoring professor or hardly any of the students im TAing

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: and then I couldn’t even help you through your dads actual real funeral

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: bc I have so much other shit going on.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: so when you left me out of a joke I just

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: felt really

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: well

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: left out

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: like I wasn’t allowed to have even that little bit of fun

bastodd: oh yumi

bastodd: im sorry

bastodd: I didn’t realize its been such a hard semester for you

bastodd: that sucks fungi-infected toes

bastodd: I thought it would be funny to leave you out of a joke

bastodd: like a prank

bastodd: or revenge

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yeah

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: normally i’d be fine w that

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I might get a little annoyed sure

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: but it just struck a nerve w everything else going on

bastodd: yeah

bastodd: okay

bastodd: I know what you mean

bastodd: like

bastodd: I don’t mind being blocked once in a while

bastodd: I know I can be annoying

bastodd: but I like to stay connected to you guys

bastodd: when youre groaning at my jokes I know youre listening :)

bastodd: like

bastodd: esp with my dad dying

bastodd: its hard not to feel really alone sometimes

bastodd: esp when you forget to unblock me.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I’m sorry odd

bastodd: its okay

bastodd: speaking of the dad thing, like, yeah I was disappointed you couldn’t be there

bastodd: you guys are my family

bastodd: but youre also all hours away

bastodd: so I didn’t expect you to be able to come at the drop of a hat

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: totally

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: geez

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I’m sorry I forgot to unblock you odd

bastodd: its okay

bastodd: sorry I left you out

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I cant blame you for something you didn’t know was going on

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I’ll… try to be more open about it

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: from now on

bastodd: same here

bastodd: and maybe we can put a ban on blocking for a while?

bastodd: maybe til the hols are over?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: good idea

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I know I don’t say it a lot

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: but I love you odd

bastodd: I love me too!

bastodd: hahahaha

bastodd: but thanks yumes

bastodd: love you too

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey yall

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: so me and odd talked

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: and we think we wanna put a ban on blocking people for the time being

bastodd: yeah

bastodd: at least til the hols are over!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: right

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: it’s… not an easy time for any of us

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: so we really need all the support we can get

princess: thank you for talking about this with us!

princess: we can all be more accommodating

princess: it’s hard all over, I agree

thegrassisgreener: definitely

thegrassisgreener: I’ll resist the urge to block you every time you annoy me

bastodd: appreciated

jeremie: I’m sorry you guys are all going through so much

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: thanks, Einstein

jeremie: I love you guys.

jeremie: It sounds like you had a productive conversation…?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh yeah

bastodd: for sure

jeremie: Everything’s all settled now?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yeah!

jeremie: Great!

jeremie: Then I have some good news!

thegrassisgreener: oh?

jeremie: I talked to my professors, and I’m able to move my finals up by a week to accommodate my surgery

jeremie: So, while I’ll be incredibly busy for the next few weeks, I’ll be post-op and in recovery in time to come to the beach house!

bastodd: yes!!!!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: woo!

princess: that’s great!

thegrassisgreener: congratulations!

bastodd: are you finally gonna show us your pecs

bastodd: that’s what you’ve been hiding all those years right

bastodd: miles of muscle

jeremie: Definitely

jeremie: Don’t worry, you’ll be able to admire my Adonis-like form all week

bastodd: yeeessss :)

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: look out aelita, you have some competition

princess: I think I can take him

bastodd: need I remind you I work with children all day

bastodd: I’m a master of self defense

princess: need I remind you I routinely beat you in monster counts on lyoko

princess: by at least 10%?

jeremie: It’s true, she was on average 11.3% better than you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey now, if we’re going by monster counts I should be the one wooing jeremie

thegrassisgreener: yeah right! I beat you like, half the time

thegrassisgreener: I should be wooing jeremie

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: we can woo him together

thegrassisgreener: alright

jeremie: If we factor activated towers in as one of XANA’s monsters, Aelita’s won twiceover

princess: ha!

bastodd: hey, whose side are you on here?

jeremie: Aelita’s.

bastodd: I’m hurt

jeremie: As you should be

bastodd: I guess I still love you

jeremie: As you should

bastodd: <3

jeremie: <3

princess: <3!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: <3

thegrassisgreener: <3

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: anyway, congrats, jeremie!

jeremie: thanks!

princess: we cant wait to see you!


	8. Friday, 14:56 Central European Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally some interactions between our favorite couples

Private Message between xx___g0thxbitch___xx and thegrassisgreener

thegrassisgreener: hey

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey yourself

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: howd therapy go

thegrassisgreener: good as usual

thegrassisgreener: she agrees it was really good for me to see odd

thegrassisgreener: poor circumstances ofc

thegrassisgreener: but seeing people irl is like, beneficial or something

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh man I know how that goes

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I went out for a drink with some other students a few nights ago

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: and yeah it was kinda awkward, we’re still getting to know each other

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: but man did I feel better afterwards

thegrassisgreener: oh yeah

thegrassisgreener: ugh

thegrassisgreener: do you ever miss kadic?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: sometimes, yeah

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: we were young, and it was stressful

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: but I miss being around you guys

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I cant just walk a couple blocks and have you all there in the lunch room

thegrassisgreener: yeah

thegrassisgreener: I might try to move closer to the city, tbh

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh yeah?

thegrassisgreener: yeah

thegrassisgreener: staying with odd for the weekend made me realize I miss him like crazy

thegrassisgreener: and hes not too far from the forge so I can still get work done

thegrassisgreener: and if I cant be with all of you, id like to be with one of you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: that’s a great idea!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: im sure hed be up for it

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: altho wasn’t he living with a boyfriend? is that still a thing?

thegrassisgreener: nah

thegrassisgreener: we were talking about it on the train

thegrassisgreener: they broke up a couple weeks ago

thegrassisgreener: its incredible, he finds a whole new gender of people to date and he still can’t hold down a relationship

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: that’s odd for you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I think they were dating for like a year?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: shit, that’s gotta be rough

thegrassisgreener: yeah, jesus

thegrassisgreener: first his boyfriend then his dad?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: good news is, hes probably itching for a roommate

thegrassisgreener: yeah hahaha

thegrassisgreener: poor odd

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: for real

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey so

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I gotta knock this research paper out

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: talk to you later?

thegrassisgreener: yeah sure!

thegrassisgreener: call you Sunday?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: youd better

thegrassisgreener: I will!

thegrassisgreener: love you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: love you too

 

 

Private Message between jeremie and princess

jeremie: I know it isn’t logical

jeremie: the doctor’s a professional

jeremie: He’s been doing surgeries like this for years

jeremie: but I’m still nervous

princess: oh jeremie! it’ll be alright!

princess: any kinda surgery is scary, especially something as important as top surgery!

princess: but you’re right, he is a professional

princess: and I’m sure he’ll talk about your concerns with you if you ask

jeremie: Yeah, that’s a good point

jeremie: Just… ah

jeremie: This is finally happening

jeremie: Aaaah

princess: yeah! aaah!

princess: I’m so happy for you, jeremie!

jeremie: Thank you

jeremie: I miss you

princess: me, too

princess: but I’ll see you soon!

jeremie: Yeah, you will. 

jeremie: :)

jeremie: I gotta get back to work, but I love you!

princess: aww

princess: I love you too!


	9. Monday, 13:36 Central European Time

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

bastodd: I always forget how long the drive to ulrichs place is

bastodd: bitch really lives over the river and through the woods

bastodd: ive been driving down this road for hours

princess: shhhh

princess: shhhh no more notification

princess: msleeping

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh stop bragging

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: mute us and go back to bed

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: also odd?? texting while driving? shameful

bastodd: am not! I got up to stretch my legs

bastodd: after being cramped in this thing for the better part of an hour

bastodd: it was much needed

thegrassisgreener: whats wrong, odd, you don’t like the french countryside?

bastodd: I dont wanna be eaten by the french countryside

bastodd: or a rogue cow

bastodd: which will definitely happen before I get to you

thegrassisgreener: don’t worry odd

thegrassisgreener: I have at least 3 swords ready to go

thegrassisgreener: I can defend you

bastodd: you wouldn’t have to save me if you lived in a normal apartment in an actual city

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: he has swords!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: watch out!

bastodd: don’t worry, ill see him coming a kilometer away

bastodd: since theres fucking nothing here

thegrassisgreener: fucker

bastodd: that’s my name don’t wear it out

bastodd: anyway, back into the car I go

bastodd: be there in 30

thegrassisgreener: k

 

Private Message between bastodd and thegrassisgreener

bastodd: beep beep bitch

thegrassisgreener: one sec

bastodd: no

 

bastodd: let me in

thegrassisgreener: no

 

Group Message between jeremie, bastodd, and thegrassisgreener

bastodd: hey good buddy

bastodd: I’ve collected ulrich and we’re on our way to the train station

bastodd: what time do you get in?

jeremie: About 13:30

bastodd: great! we’ll get there at about the same time

bastodd: maybe a little later since ulrich drives like my gram

jeremie: that’s fine

jeremie: It’ll take me a while to get around, since I’m not supposed to be lifting anything heavier than Kiwi

jeremie: Speaking of, how is the little monster?

bastodd: 1. no problem!

bastodd: ulrich says he can help you with your bags

jeremie: Thanks!

bastodd: 2. kiwi’s still kickin. my mom’s watching him for the week

bastodd: she likes the company

bastodd: 1. what are friends for

jeremie: 1. Helping me with my bags, obviously

jeremie: 2. drat, I was hoping to see him

bastodd: 1. ha! good one

bastodd: you sound like me

bastodd: 2. you can! you just gotta come visit me in the city sometime

jeremie: 1. Oh Cori, I did sound like you.

jeremie: In my defense, I’m still recovering

jeremie: 2. I would love to!

bastodd: 1. sure, jeremie, whatever you say

bastodd: 2. great!

bastodd: ack, we’re going thru that one tunnel so service is going bye-bye

jeremie: Okay, no problem. See you two soon!

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

thegrassisgreener: we’ve acquired jeremie

thegrassisgreener: he’s a little woozy but no worse for wear

thegrassisgreener: and looking great, I might add

jeremie: Thank you, thank you

princess: that’s great!

jeremie: I agree! Haha. We’re heading to the beach house now.

jeremie: How are you girls doing?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: uuuggghhh

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I finished my last paper with an hour to spare

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: now I have to go find aelita so we can get schwaaaasteeeed

princess: im at the liquor store that’s by the indoor farmer’s market!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: correction, I’ve located aelita, now I have to like… go to her

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ugh

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: who invented walking?

bastodd: come on yumes, my kids can do better than you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: uuuggghhhhh

bastodd: my 5 yr olds are better than you at walking 3 blocks

bastodd: how does it feel to get owned by a 5-yr-old?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ugh                   

bastodd: get going!

princess: yeah yumi! we have drinks to be had!

princess: plus you get to see **me**!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: that’s true

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I do love you

princess: yeah! so get your butt over here!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ugh. im comin

princess: you’d better be!

 

Private Message between princess and jeremie

princess: pssst

princess: pssst jeremie

jeremie: Yes? This is a private chat

princess: yeah but youre with the boys

princess: they could see!

jeremie: If they try it I’ll just send you something grossly romantic and they’ll leave us alone

princess: good one!

princess: anyway

princess: do you have all the parts?

jeremie: Yup! I packed them up before my surgery

jeremie: Ulrich asked if I had rocks in my bag

jeremie: Not even close!

princess: aaaaaaahh

princess: this is so exciting

princess: I’ll help you assemble it as soon as we get in

jeremie: Okay!

jeremie: You know, this project is sort of like our baby

princess: jereeeemieeee

princess: stoooopppp

princess: I’m gonna blush and yumis gonna ask whats wrong

princess: and we’re drinking tonight so I cant guarantee secrecy

jeremie: Sorry! I’m just excited

princess: I know

princess: me too!

princess: but we can be more excited tomorrow, when we’re together

jeremie: Yeah :)

jeremie: Yeah we can

 

Private Message between princess and xx___g0thxbitch___xx

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: sorry I took so long

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I majorly slacked on laundry the last two weeks

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I had to wash a load so I didn’t show up in three day old sweatpants

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you would NOT have appreciated it

princess: no problem

princess: I know how hard this semester’s been for you

princess: I’m just glad youre coming!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yeah :)

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: me too

princess: oh, fyi

princess: im in a pink vest and red pants

princess: back by the wines

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: almost there!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: turn around


	10. Monday, 15:23 Central European Time

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

bastodd: beach house! beach house! beach house!

bastodd: we have arrived

thegrassisgreener: I forgot how nice this place is

thegrassisgreener: goddamn

bastodd: yeah

bastodd: remind me to check if Adele left any food in the fridge

bastodd: hopefully not

bastodd: she’s a terrible cook

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yikes

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: good luck

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: me and aelita are heading back to her place

xx___g0thxbitch___xx : so we’re officially out of commission for the night

jeremie: have fun!

thegrassisgreener: okay, let us know when you leave in the morning

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: will do. love yall

 

Group Message between jeremie, bastodd, and thegrassisgreener

jeremie: I’ll be in my room for a bit, I have a project to work on before tomorrow

jeremie: I’ll be down before dinner tho!

bastodd: typical Einstein, always working on some project or scheme

bastodd: its no wonder the love has gone out of this marriage

bastodd: soon I’ll be asking more and more favors of our young pool boy

bastodd: just to feel wanted again

thegrassisgreener: am I the pool boy

bastodd: why of course

thegrassisgreener: I don’t know why I expected different

bastodd: its an honor to be wanted by me!

thegrassisgreener: oh yeah? I bet half our graduating class feels real honored

bastodd: wow

bastodd: jeremie im docking the pool boy’s pay

bastodd: when you’re done with your infernal contraption I expect you to give him a stern talking to

jeremie: I’m glad you guys understand

thegrassisgreener: course Einstein

jeremie: Also, was that pun intentional?

jeremie: “Stern”?

bastodd: no! hahahaha good catch

thegrassisgreener: I hate you

bastodd: I love you too!!!

 

thegrassisgreener: hey so im on the third floor? wheres the bathroom

bastodd: there’s a long hallway with a window at the end, its the last door on your right

thegrassisgreener: thanks!

thegrassisgreener: shit

thegrassisgreener: uh… toilet paper?

bastodd: that IS shitty! hahaha

bastodd: hang on

bastodd: ill be right there

thegrassisgreener:… thanks

 

thegrassisgreener: hot chocolate y/n/m?

bastodd: YES

bastodd: tons of marshmallows

jeremie: Yes please!

jeremie: No marshmallows for me

jeremie: Well… Maybe a couple

thegrassisgreener: got it!

thegrassisgreener: come down in ah, 10-15?

thegrassisgreener: can you be torn away from your project for so long?

jeremie: Yes

jeremie: I’m actually nixing it for the day

jeremie: Too many heavy parts :(

thegrassisgreener: can you tell us what you’re working on? maybe we can help!

jeremie: Sorry, no can do!

jeremie: It’s meant to be surprise!

bastodd: typical

bastodd: our failing marriage, your secrets, yadda yadda

jeremie: :)

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

bastodd: holy shit, girls, I know youre out of commission but you NEED to get ulrich to make you his hot chocolate this week

bastodd: its DIVINE

jeremie: It IS spectacular!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: almst as  specacular as ulrich hismself

thegrassisgreener: holy shit

thegrassisgreener: thanks, I think

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: no prob babbe

 

Private Message between xx___g0thxbitch___xx and thegrassisgreener

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ull rich

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: all rich

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: rich ursdon

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ur name is Richardson now

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: nanyway

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: Richardson

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I love you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx:I dont sayit enough

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I love you Richardson I rly rly do

thegrassisgreener: not enough to get my name right apparently

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: fine

xx___g0thxbitch___xx : no fun

xx___g0thxbitch___xx : ulrich

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yuore my best friend and love of my life and I love you

thegrassisgreener: ahaha

thegrassisgreener: I haven’t seen drunk!yumi in a while

thegrassisgreener: I love you too

thegrassisgreener: you’ve always known that, I hope

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: of course I have

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: im yumi

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: and u haven’t seen drunk!yumi cause shes been to FUCkiN BUSY

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: but now shes with aelita who is safe

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: and so fuckin g cool.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: god I love her

thegrassisgreener: you should tell her

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I will!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: she says hse loves me too

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: nice

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ulrich

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I just wanted to tell you I love you

thegrassisgreener: I know you do

thegrassisgreener: and I cant wait to see you

thegrassisgreener: grumpy!hungover!yumi and all :)

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ill tone down the grump for you

thegrassisgreener: puh-leez

thegrassisgreener: that’s like, half our relationship

thegrassisgreener: being grumpy…together

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: grump

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: youre my grump

thegrassisgreener: youre my grump :)

thegrassisgreener: I love you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I love YOU

thegrassisgreener: have fun tonight

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you too!

 

Private message between bastodd and princess

princess: so this fuckin bitch

bastodd: uh oh! youre not talking about yumi are you??

princess: no! god no never

princess: yumi’s the light of all our lives

princess: no this bitch at WORK

princess: she’s also a grad student and she thinks shes hot shit cause she’s won the university robotics compitition two years in a row

princess: when she doesnint show up on time!

princess: she was consistently late this year

princess: and shes a control freak  despite being CONSTAnT LY LATE

princess: ugh!

princess: if she even KNEW half the stuff jeremie designed

princess: shed shit herself

bastodd: ahaha id pay to see that

bastodd: she sounds like the worst

bastodd: hey, he’s not actually working on a way to let kiwi breathe underwater is he?

princess: nooooo

princess: don’t ask me that

princess: I don’t wanna give way our secrets!

bastodd: our? oh so youre in on it

princess: shit!!

bastodd: ahaha

princess: nooo

princess: noooo

bastodd: don’t worry I wont tell

bastodd: hes been holed up in his room half the day anyway

bastodd: so its not like hell know

bastodd: he just… seemed upset when he learned kiwi wasn’t gonna be here

bastodd: so I wondered

princess: ahaha it COULD be used for kiwi but that’s n

princess: no

princess: no im don etalking to you

princess: you’ll get no more from me

princess: good night odd see you tomorrow

bastodd: ahahah okay

bastodd: night ‘lita

 

Private Message between princess and xx___g0thxbitch___xx

princess: jeremie theyre catching onto our plan

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: wrongc hat

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: haha chat

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: like cat

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: like were seeinkg odd tomorrow

princess: god dann it.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: whats this plan

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: are u and jeremie gonna f

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: gonna f u

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: no I cant even say it

princess: no!

princess: if we DID thatd be none of your business

princess: when you get back out here im confiscating your phone

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: what why :(

princess: youre too drunk

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: says you!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: if you cosfiscate my phone I get to cosnficate yours!

princess: fine

princess: youre taking too long to pee

princess: youre not sexting in there are you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: no!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ye of littel faith

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: Im…..

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: stuck

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: my fishnets

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: are tangled

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: w my suspenders

princess: og my god

princess: hang on, ill help you

princess: then im taking yourre phone


	11. Monday, 22:50 Central European Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter took so long cause i big time procrastinated finishing that drawing

Group Message between jeremie, bastodd, and thegrassisgreener

 

thegrassisgreener: oh my god

thegrassisgreener: look at jeremie

bastodd: oh my god

bastodd: take a picture and send it to the group chat

thegrassisgreener: way ahead of you

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

thegrassisgreener:

thegrassisgreener: looks like someone enjoyed his hot chocolate!

princess: you didn’t spike it right?

thegrassisgreener: no!

princess: ok just checking

thegrassisgreener: I found him like that

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: god I wish tht were me

bastodd: same

 

Group Message between jeremie, bastodd, and thegrassisgreener

jeremie: Oh Goodall

jeremie: Sorry I passed out last night!

jeremie: I guess travelling took more out of me than I thought

thegrassisgreener: its fine dude

thegrassisgreener: you also had surgery like, 2 weeks ago

thegrassisgreener: its understandable

jeremie: Thanks

jeremie: I’ll try to stay awake today!

bastodd: youd better! the girls are getting in today!

jeremie: Oh right!!

jeremie: Any news?

thegrassisgreener: not yet, but yumi’s terrible when she’s hungover so I wouldn’t expect them any time soon

bastodd: ahahaha, I was about to text them! guess ill wait

thegrassisgreener: please do

thegrassisgreener: since we’re all awake, eggs?

bastodd: yes please! there should be cheese and veggies in the crisper drawer

thegrassisgreener: on it. whatll ya have?

jeremie: Omlette with bell peppers if you have them. Hold the cheese.

bastodd: what he’s having! mine with extra cheese. and hashbrowns!

thegrassisgreener: in the freezer?

bastodd: yah!

thegrassisgreener: on it!

 

Private Message between thegrassisgreener and jeremie

jeremie: Hey uh

jeremie: Normally I’d ask Aelita for help with this

jeremie: but if she’s not here by lunch time

jeremie: Could I get some help with uh

jeremie: Showering?

jeremie: It shouldn’t be much, I just can’t lift my arms very high.

thegrassisgreener: oh, yeah

thegrassisgreener: no problem, buddy

thegrassisgreener: lemme know when

jeremie: Will do!

jeremie: Thanks

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: guess fucking what

jeremie: What?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: the lights of your lives are less than an hour away from yall

bastodd: oh shit really??

bastodd: hiromu arakawa is on her way?

thegrassisgreener: who the fuck is that

bastodd: the author of fullmetal alchemist

thegrassisgreener: god I wish I could block you

bastodd: but you cant :)

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: anyway

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: its true, me and lita are on the way

jeremie: Sweet!

jeremie: I was just about to shower, I’ll see you when you get here!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hell yeah

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: princess says she cant wait to see you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: god im gonna vom that’s so sweet

thegrassisgreener: really? do you want me to send them screenshots of last night?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: don’t expose me like that!!

bastodd: ooh? yumi a secret softie, more at 1700

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: in the immortal words of ulrich stern

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: god I wish I could block you

 

Group Message between jeremie, bastodd, and thegrassisgreener

jeremie: Hey

jeremie: Ulrich’s gonna help me wash my hair

jeremie: We’ll be in the bathroom off the 2nd floor master bedroom if you need to come find us

thegrassisgreener: actually you can just text

thegrassisgreener: I keep my phone in a baggie so it doesn’t get wet

jeremie: Okay, then, text us

bastodd: copy

bastodd: have fun

bastodd: actually be careful that tub will leak if it gets too full

thegrassisgreener: noted

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

princess: guess who’s heeeere bitches

bastodd: HELL yes

thegrassisgreener: is it the lights of our lives?

princess: yes, yes it is!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: help us bring our shit inside

thegrassisgreener: omw

jeremie: I can’t help but I’ll provide moral support

princess: appreciated as always!

 

bastodd: aelita?

princess: bathroom!

bastodd: ah

 

jeremie: Sorry guys, I need to lie down for a bit

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: no problem!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: say, what kind of drinks do you guys want?

princess: surprise me!

bastodd: something fruity

jeremie: Nothing for me! Well nothing with alcohol. I’ll take a mocktail though.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: me and ulrich are on the job

 

Private Message between jeremie and princess

jeremie: Hey, follow me upstairs

princess: ohoho

princess: on it

princess: ;)

jeremie: I need help with the project!

princess: i know, but I’m not gonna waste an opportunity to kiss you

jeremie: Oh alright, if you must :)


	12. Tuesday, 13:32 Central European Time

Group Message between thegrassisgreener, bastodd, and xx___g0thxbitch___xx

thegrassisgreener: oh god

thegrassisgreener: I went to if I left my shampoo in jeremie’s room

thegrassisgreener: mistake mistake mistake

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh no

thegrassisgreener: oh yes

 

Group Message between thegrassisgreener, princess, and jeremie

 

thegrassisgreener: first of all

thegrassisgreener: sorry about that

thegrassisgreener: second of all

thegrassisgreener: jeremie, your doctor literally told you to avoid strenuous exercise for like two more weeks

thegrassisgreener: and that DEFINITELY counts strenuous

 

thegrassisgreener: not answering I see?

thegrassisgreener: I know what youre doing in there

thegrassisgreener: youre being irresponsible!

thegrassisgreener: doctors just want to help you!

 

princess: oh fuck

princess: shit.

princess: I’m sorry you had to see that

princess: youre probably right

princess: sorry love, we should tone it down

jeremie: No I agree

jeremie: And sorry also, Ulrich

thegrassisgreener: thanks

thegrassisgreener: hey, either of you want any seashells?

thegrassisgreener: im going to the beach to find some with which to gouge my eyes out

princess: maybe don’t

jeremie: Yeah, we’ll make it up to you

thegrassisgreener: … how?

princess: we can all go down to the beach this afternoon!

thegrassisgreener: so you can help me find seashells I can gouge my eyes out with?

jeremie: Yes

 

Group Message between thegrassisgreener, bastodd, and xx___g0thxbitch___xx

bastodd: wait, if you were in jeremies room, does that mean you saw what hes working on?

thegrassisgreener: I did actually

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: besides aelita

thegrassisgreener: oh my god

thegrassisgreener: no but I think I saw his project (god that sounds dirty)? I couldn’t make much sense of it but its was like… long and flat and had a metal part sticking out it it? sort of like an antenna? it looked a little like a metal detector?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh hm. maybe its some kind of radio? or something to help explore the ocean?

bastodd: or a homing beacon

bastodd: hes gonna microchip us

bastodd: so he knows when we’re being rowdy

bastodd: or about to interrupt his trysts with aelita

thegrassisgreener: that’s probably it

thegrassisgreener: guess we’ll find out later

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I hope so

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

thegrassisgreener: now that that’s over

thegrassisgreener: im gonna need that drink

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: why, what a coincidence

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I just finished jeremie’s mocktail

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: why don’t we all go drink our drinks on the beach??

princess: that’s a great idea!

princess: we actually have something we want to share with you guys!

thegrassisgreener: no!! my eyes!!

jeremie: It’s not like that!

thegrassisgreener: … okay, I cant be too careful

jeremie: I guess

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: are we all ready to go?

bastodd: nope! I still gotta find my swimsuit

jeremie: Same here. And a jacket, the wind is killer.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: okay, why don’t we meet there in 30?

jeremie: Works for me!

bastodd: copy!

thegrassisgreener: 10-4

 

bastodd: out the back theres a boardwalk and a fence, the fence latch jams so you have to shove it a bit. when you make it thru and youll get to the beach

bastodd: so long as no one else is taking a Christmas vacation here, its allll ours

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: drinks are on the island. jeremie I marked yours with a little umbrella

jeremie: Much appreciated

 

 

Private Message between thegrassisgreener and xx___g0thxbitch___xx:

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: help me with my swimsuit

thegrassisgreener: damn it yumi

thegrassisgreener: I was all set to go

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh sorry

thegrassisgreener: no im on my way

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ;)

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

bastodd: hellOooo?

bastodd: where is everyone?

thegrassisgreener: on my way!!

jeremie: We’re coming!

bastodd: god I hope not

jeremie: You guys are never going to let that go are you?

bastodd: eh, not for a few days at least

jeremie: Sigh

jeremie: Anyway, we’ll be right out

bastodd: you’d better!!! youre keeping your loving husband waiting jeremie!!!

princess: ???

jeremie: I’ll tell you about it later

 

bastodd: holy shit

bastodd: ulrich, yumi

bastodd: youd better get out here

 

thegrassisgreener: is that was I think it is


	13. Tuesday, 14:45 Central European Time

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

bastodd: you guys cant hear me over the wind

bastodd: guess ill commentate from the groupchat

bastodd: it would seem that our beloved einsteins have come up with a real life hoverboard

bastodd: it kinda reminds me of the overwing, but smaller and less pretty

bastodd: I see what ulrich meant about it being like a metal detector

bastodd: jeremie meant for it to work over water as well as land, but its taking to the sand better than the sea

bastodd: cant blame it. shits cold.

bastodd: anyway, aelita’s taking it for a cautious spin

bastodd: oh! what a crash.

bastodd: aelita recovers well. but will she get that sand out of her coverup? only time will tell

bastodd: cautious yumi approaches the board, where its floating about a foot above the ground

bastodd: the crowd is hushed

bastodd: yumi steps on, leans forward and….! shes off!

bastodd: what wobbly grace she moves with

bastodd: flying past me like she’s had years of practice

bastodd: it’s possible our beloved jeremie has just made the first joke of his life, but alas I’ll never hear it over this wind

bastodd: an update: yumi’s a natural!

 

bastodd: after a long and less-than-humble go on the hoverboard, yumi steps down to give our dear ulrich a turn

bastodd: ulrich steps up to the board, tremulous

bastodd: his girlfriend has to help him on, and hes white knuckling the handlebars

bastodd: its not looking good for ulrich, folks

bastodd: ah! ulrich is decidedly not a fan

bastodd: and is now very wet

 

bastodd: oh no

 

thegrassisgreener: sorry good buddy we couldn’t hear you at all

thegrassisgreener: but now we welcome back to the commentator box your long-time fan favorite, me

thegrassisgreener: who is now dripping all over odd’s lovely plastic beach chair

thegrassisgreener: heh, sorry

thegrassisgreener: anyway

thegrassisgreener: our favorite bitchy cat boy has stepped up to the board

thegrassisgreener: he jumps a little, testing the weight like it’s a hotel bed ripe for jumping

thegrassisgreener: three time tri-academy skateboard tournament champion odd della robbia struggles mightily with this new technology

thegrassisgreener: I won’t be surprised if he and I meet the same fate

 

thegrassisgreener: … damn it

thegrassisgreener: well folks it seems I’ve spoken too soon

thegrassisgreener: hes off, with as much if not more grace than the lovely yumi

thegrassisgreener: hes… really going

thegrassisgreener: oh no

thegrassisgreener: uh, our director and the brains behind the operation has taken off behind odd as he speeds down the beach

thegrassisgreener: oh shit

thegrassisgreener: shit

 

princess: odd? do you have your phone on you?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: odd??

bastodd: wh

bastodd: ya

bastodd: sorry

bastodd: m a little scrambled

bastodd: the thing just stopped working

bastodd: sorry

jeremie: That’s fine

jeremie: As long as you’re safe

bastodd: yeah uh

bastodd: my arm is kinda jacked?

bastodd: and I landed hard on my bad knee

bastodd: shit

bastodd: I think walking is out

princess: That’s okay. Deep breaths.

bastodd: on it

jeremie: Can you tell where you are?

bastodd: kinda

bastodd: hang on.

bastodd: i passed the rocks on the far side of the beach

bastodd: im sort of in a cove? there are a few houses but theyre way at the top of the cliff

bastodd: waaaait

bastodd: oh okay so, good news, I wont be taken hostage by weird reclusive psychopaths spending the holidays in their beach home

bastodd: it’s the Lunbar’s, they live in the big yellow house

jeremie: Okay, so that’s one less thing to worry about

bastodd: yeah

bastodd: I don’t think they can hear me tho

bastodd: alright SO

bastodd: im like a mile west of where yall are

thegrassisgreener: damn, that far?

bastodd: what can I say, Einstein doesn’t fuck around

bastodd: anyway, im like a mile west, im sitting at the bottom of a cliff right underneath a yellow house

bastodd: cant miss me

princess: got it. hold tight, were on our way!!

bastodd: kay, ill be here

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you were right about the Einsteins not fucking around

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I don’t remember the last time I walked this much in one go

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: youre lucky I love you

bastodd: the sacrifices you make for friends are truly appreciated

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: theyd better be


	14. Tuesday, 16:30 Central European Time

Private Message between princess and bastodd 

bastodd: Hey Eye leech

princess: odd! how are you doing

bastodd: Okay. Sore

bastodd: I’m dictating messages to my phone so I am soggy if the spellcheck yapp sin.

bastodd: shit

princess: ahahah

princess: no problem!

princess: whats up

bastodd: I should be ready to goat when the doctor gets back

bastodd: But I was thinking

bastodd: You’re still my cousin technically

bastodd: You could come in and see me

princess: oh, I hadn’t thought of that!

princess: sure! ill be right there, I just got to let the others knows

bastodd: Okay! I’ll be here ha ha ha ha

princess: sigh

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

princess: he’s a little banged up, but he’s stable!

princess:

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh no, how will he shovel food into his mouth with that cast?

princess:

princess: he says “guess youll have to feed me!”

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh no

princess: oh yes

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: :(

princess: truly a tragedy

jeremie: Or a horror film

princess: that too

princess: anyway. we’ll be out in just a minute!

jeremie: We’ll be waiting!

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: psst… looks like someone fell asleep

thegrassisgreener: I guess the accident really knocked the wind out of him

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: booooo

thegrassisgreener: what can I say, im filling a void

princess: hes asleep, not dead

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yeah, if he were dead itd be quiet in here ;)

 

bastodd: I’m awake now

bastodd: so, first of all, fuck you yumi

bastodd: second of all, for reference: ill need to take painkillers twice a day, and I cant put much weight on my knee for the rest of the week

bastodd: so I might… kneed… some help around the house

bastodd: but otherwise im okay!

thegrassisgreener: glad to hear it good buddy!

princess: I’m glad youre okay!

princess: jeremie is too but hes sleeping

bastodd: where is he

bastodd: we should nap together

princess: my room! second floor, the first door on your right when you reach the top of the stairs

bastodd: omw

bastodd: wait… you guys aren’t…

princess: were both decent!

princess: oh my god

bastodd: oh phew

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: for anyone whose still awake, me and ulrich are starting a movie in the living room

thegrassisgreener: ill be making popcorn soon

princess: I think odd and jeremie are still asleep, but ill come down!

 

thegrassisgreener: dinners ready!

thegrassisgreener: ill fridge it since yall need to sleep, apparently

 

jeremie: Oh my Nye, it got late.

thegrassisgreener: its fine! you needed it

jeremie: Yeah, I did

jeremie: Odd is still asleep; once I untangle myself I can meet you downstairs?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: please! we’re all in the living room

 

bastodd: hey

bastodd: anyone still awake

thegrassisgreener: just you and me buddy! everyone else is knocked out

bastodd: cool

 

Private Message between bastodd and thegrassisgreener

bastodd: sorry I don’t wanna clog the gc if no one else is awake

bastodd: I just…

bastodd: I dunno

thegrassisgreener: whats up?

bastodd: this was paulines room, when we came here as kids

bastodd: id sneak in sometimes late at night and we’d tell ghost stories

bastodd: one time … he caught us

thegrassisgreener: your dad?

bastodd: yah

bastodd: he didn’t yell, didn’t make me go to bed

bastodd: just sat with us in the blanket fort

bastodd: took the book we were reading – I think it was sleepy hollow?

bastodd: and read to us until we both passed out

bastodd: I remember waking up on the floor, dad leaning back on the dresser, snoring like a

bastodd: like a... like a della robbia, I guess

bastodd: and i

bastodd: I just

bastodd: miss him

thegrassisgreener: hey

thegrassisgreener: that’s okay

thegrassisgreener: that’s… totally normal.

thegrassisgreener: even tho the lyoko gang is all here, youre still in a place where you spent a lot of time with him

thegrassisgreener: tbh im… surprised you didn’t say anything sooner

bastodd: I wanted to

bastodd: but we were having fun, I guess I forgot

thegrassisgreener: hey, man, that’s okay.

bastodd: yeah

bastodd: plus I didn’t wanna bother you guys with it

bastodd: while were on vacation

bastodd: but then I fell asleep w jeremie, and woke up alone

bastodd: and I dunno

bastodd: it just. all came out.

thegrassisgreener: hey. odd.

thegrassisgreener: that sucks. like it really really does.

thegrassisgreener: but its okay that you feel that way.

thegrassisgreener: youre human. grief is fucking normal

thegrassisgreener: its only been a couple weeks, honestly.

thegrassisgreener: its nothing to feel burdened about

thegrassisgreener: we’re all here for you!

thegrassisgreener: you can spam the group chat all you want

thegrassisgreener: thanks for telling me

bastodd: yeah

bastodd: thanks for listening

bastodd: I thought about him during breakfast

bastodd: he always burned his eggs

thegrassisgreener: I can burn eggs for you

bastodd: jesus

thegrassisgreener: was that you laughing I just heard?

bastodd: yeah. asshole.

bastodd: I cant believe Ulrich Stern, the king of angst, wont let me wallow in my own sadness

bastodd: my how the times have changed

thegrassisgreener: what can I say?

thegrassisgreener: we all grow up sometime

bastodd: shit

bastodd: I know

bastodd: therapy’s a good look on you

thegrassisgreener: yeah, thanks

thegrassisgreener: and like. you don’t have to, everyone grieves differently, but

thegrassisgreener: I can link you to service I go thru

thegrassisgreener: im sure someone there is a trained grief professional

bastodd: thanks

bastodd: ill think about that.

bastodd: I just

bastodd: wish he was here

thegrassisgreener: I know

thegrassisgreener: I know

thegrassisgreener: im sorry

bastodd: me too, man.

 

bastodd: hey

thegrassisgreener: yeah buddy?

bastodd: can you come upstairs?

bastodd: I don’t wanna be alone

thegrassisgreener: course, omw


	15. Wednesday, 07:36 Central European Time

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

thegrassisgreener: odd’s havin a rough night, he says hed appreciate love and stuff in the morning

 

bastodd: oh ulrich you bitch

princess: ???

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: so you don’t… want love and stuff?

bastodd: no no I do

bastodd: just not from that traitor

jeremie: I can hear screaming from down the hall, what’s going on?

bastodd: hang on

princess: uh, I hear screaming, should i

princess: ok im omw

 

princess: fucking hell

 

princess: no ones hurt

princess: no need to come running

princess: turns out ulrich found time to exact his revenge

jeremie: Revenge?

princess: remember how odd left dirty socks in ulrichs luggage after the funeral?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: vaguely

jeremie: Yes

princess: ulrich apparently found every sock in his house, packed it in his tiny suitcase, and unleashed it on odd while he slept

princess: the stench alone could fell a man

princess: don’t come down to this end of the hallway unless you have a nose plug

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: or a death wish?

princess: or a death wish

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: holy shit

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: paint us a picture, dear ‘lita

princess: well, the first thing to remember is ulrich lives in the countryside, surrounded by dirt and bugs and who knows what, so there's that stank.

princess: plus, he works with swords. so, manure and burnt fibers are among the strongest identifiable scents

princess: but then you have to consider the toll that being around molten metal, etc, all day takes on his feet

princess: so that amps up the stank

princess: and to top it all off, our lovely ulrich is a cis man, who lives _alone_ in the countryside.

princess: how often do you think he does laundry?

jeremie: Not enough?

princess: not enough.

princess: not nearly enough.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: horrible

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: horrifying

jeremie: haranguing

jeremie: horrendous

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: h… bad

jeremie: exactly

princess: and ulrich unleashed all of that onto poor unassuming odd

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: well… im not helping him

princess: oh no at this point im just watching

princess: fascinating stuff. odd is currently hitting ulrich with a pillow

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: who’s winning?

princess: ulrich, unfortunately

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: boo

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: five euros says ulrich gets cocky and odd makes a comeback

jeremie: Oh no, getting cocky is Odd’s territory

jeremie: Odd admits defeat, €5

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: its on

princess: ill be the judge of that

princess: it’s a close one

 

princess: it would seem ulrich is the victor in today’s battles

princess: but only because of odd’s disadvantaged state

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: damn it

jeremie: Ha ha!

 

thegrassisgreener: wow, you guys

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you bombarded odd with your smelly socks!

thegrassisgreener: and it was so worth it!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: was it, though?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: was it really?

thegrassisgreener: yes.

jeremie: Incredible.

 

Private Message between jeremie and xx___g0thxbitch___xx

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: so turns out I don’t have any cash on me

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: can I get you a coffee

jeremie: You don’t have to do that! I was mostly joking anyway

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: no im committed now

jeremie: Well, if you must

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I must

jeremie: I was thinking we could go out to brunch

jeremie: Give Ulrich a break from all the cooking

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ooo

jeremie: You can get me a coffee there, or something else that’s €5

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: excellent idea

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: this is why youre the Einstein

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: once we're all de-stank-ified

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: what say you to finding a diner this morning?

jeremie: We think it'd give Ulrich a break from all the cooking.

princess: fine by me!

thegrassisgreener: sure! I really dont mind cooking, but a break might be nice.

bastodd: I could eat!

thegrassisgreener: that goes without saying

bastodd: really, ulrich, havent you antagonized me enough?

thegrassisgreener: ehhhh

thegrassisgreener: you cant see it but i'm making that wiggling hand gesture

bastodd: sigh

bastodd: husband, dock the pool boy's pay

jeremie: By how much, dear?

bastodd: enough to make it hurt!

jeremie: Ah, down to the American minimum wage. Got it.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh don't be that cruel

jeremie: Alright... Slightly above American minimum wage.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: spoken like a true heartless bastard

jeremie: I try.

jeremie: Anything for my … loving husband.

bastodd: oh darling, i knew you cared!

jeremie: Of course

jeremie: Anyway. Can everyone be ready in an hour?

princess: I can!

bastodd: if I get in the shower right now, hopefully

thegrassisgreener: oh it wasnt that bad! you should smell your own feet sometime!

bastodd: im washing out the betrayal

thegrassisgreener: oh alright

thegrassisgreener: anyway, einstein, I should be ready by then

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: me too. also, ulrich, please do laundry more

princess: youre one to talk

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: dont! expose me! like that!

princess: :)

princess: We'll meet in the kitchen in an hour?

jeremie: Sounds good!

 


	16. Wednesday, 08:03 Central European Time

Private Message between princess and bastodd

princess: hey, are you alright?

princess: you seemed... off this morning

bastodd: yeah im

bastodd: not doing to great tbh

princess: you want to talk about it?

bastodd: hm. not right now

bastodd: I gotta focus on eating

bastodd: but... maybe later all of us can have a feelings jam?

bastodd: ulrich doesnt think its good for me to keep it all bottled up

princess: my how the times have changed

bastodd: thats what I said!

princess: but okay! ill be here when you need me

bastodd: I know <3

princess: <3

 

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ulrich?

thegrassisgreener: collecting my socks!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: well hurry up!

thegrassisgreener: I am! I think you guys are right

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: on?

thegrassisgreener: I do need to do laundry more

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh my god

 

 

princess: we're in a booth in the back corner

jeremie: Thanks! Be right in.

 

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: in case I dont get back by the time the waitress takes our order, ill have two shots of espresso, an egg, fried, and a cherry muffin

princess: copy!

 

Private Message between princess and jeremie

princess: dude.

princess: not fucking cool.

 

 

Private Message between thegrassisgreener and jeremie

thegrassisgreener: wtf jer?

 

 

Private Message between xx___g0thxbitch___xx and bastodd

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey whered you go?

bastodd: fuck off

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: the hell?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: sulk all you want bitch but tell me where you fucking are

bastodd: fine

bastodd: by the car

bastodd: tell j to keep his distance

bastodd: ill be

bastodd: back soon

bastodd: I guess

 

 

Private Message between princess and jeremie

jeremie: Yeah I

jeremie: I fucked up

princess: dont tell me that!

princess: you know what you need to do!

 

jeremie: Yumi says I should keep my distance

jeremie: I guess she'd know

jeremie: Fuck.

 

Private Message between xx___g0thxbitch___xx and bastodd

bastodd: sorry

bastodd: sorry

bastodd: im not mad at you

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: can I come find you?

bastodd: not... right now

bastodd: im not beautiful rn

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: text?

bastodd: yeah

bastodd: you remember nicholas

bastodd: the ex-boyfriend?

bastodd: or well, when you met him he was just the boyfriend

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yeah

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: ulrich told you youd split up

bastodd: yeah

bastodd: it wasnt so bad

bastodd: I mean I was into him but it wasnt...

bastodd: anyway. not the point.

bastodd: he was... kind of a hothead

bastodd: born into money, went to a fancy private college

bastodd: didnt... see why I was never good at school

bastodd: thought I needed to apply myself more

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh no

bastodd: oh yeah. wed fight like once a month bc he thought I needed to change careers

bastodd: get some real qualifications or something

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh no

bastodd: eventually that was what split us up

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh no

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: so when jeremie said... what he said...?

bastodd: yeah

bastodd: struck a nerve

bastodd: I mean

bastodd: ive always felt like shit about my grades anyway

bastodd: but... I thought einstein understood that

bastodd: you know?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: oh dude

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: no wonder youre hiding out by the car

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you must be pretty... tired... of all the comments

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: it really... grinds your gears?

bastodd: tch

bastodd: yeah

bastodd: good effort yumes

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I try

bastodd: “try” being the word to focus on

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: sigh

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: yeah

 

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: hey

bastodd: yeah?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I cant speak for jeremie

xx___g0thxbitch__xx: but he knows what he said was wrong

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: lita and ulrich are reading him the riot act over here

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: he'll apologize. when youre ready

bastodd: I... yeah, I know

bastodd: I just gotta. be angry for a bit.

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I know

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: not too long I hope

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: one waitress keeps refilling out drinks when we've only taken a sip

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: and another is cleaning an already very clean table next to us

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: so I think theyre waiting for the thrilling conclusion of this tale

bastodd: oh well, I cant keep my fans waiting

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: no you cant!

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: take your time, but, when you get back in here

bastodd: be prepared for an audience?

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: precisely

 

 

Private Message between princess and jeremie

princess: looks like your chance is walking in the door.

 

 

Private Message between thegrassisgreener and bastodd

thegrassisgreener: yalright?

bastodd: yeah

bastodd: better now

bastodd: your girlfriend's pretty cool, you know that?

thegrassisgreener: do I ever

thegrassisgreener: glad she could help

 

Group Message between princess, bastodd, thegrassisgreener, xx___g0thxbitch___xx, and jeremie

 

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: I think there was a satisfying conclusion to our soap opera

bastodd: enough to hold the waitstaff over on gossip for at least the rest of the day

princess: oh itll be at least three days

princess: remember that restaurant I worked in a few summers ago?

princess: one bitchy mom could keep us going for days. two could keep us for a week.

jeremie: Is that how you got so good at doing voices?

princess: yes! you need to be able to recreate their tone accurately for maximum gossip potential

xx___g0thxbitch___xx: you shouldve been a theater major

thegrassisgreener: we all couldve, tbh

thegrassisgreener: in another life we were all in an acting troupe, touring the world, putting on shows

bastodd: definitely.

Private Message between jeremie and bastodd

jeremie: I am sorry though

bastodd: I know you are

bastodd: im allowed to still be mad

bastodd: but I do forgive you

jeremie: Good. I don't know what I'd do without my husband by my side.

bastodd: oh jeremie!

bastodd: does that mean... we can do... That Thing?

jeremie: The Thing you brought up last Christmas that I swore I never wanted to try?

bastodd: yes! it's the only way you can save this marriage!

bastodd: well, not the only way...

jeremie: No, no, if I must do That Thing to get back in your good graces, then by Jove I'll do it.

bastodd: oh darling, I knew you cared!

 

Group Message between princess, jeremie, and bastodd

princess: hey! stop texting under the table!

bastodd: anything for you dearest lita

jeremie: Sorry, love!

princess: thank you!

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me for any minor errors. I haven't watched the show all the way through in like, a decade.
> 
> Also, let me know what you think! If there's enough interest I can post more chapters.


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